Where Have I Been?

Sorry I have been MIA for a little while. I have tried to write a little here and there but for the most part, I have had to shut the writing portion of my brain down for a little while.

But I am back now!

Here is an update about what has been going on with me…

My grandmother was diagnosed with terminal cancer in late May of this year. When I heard the news, I internalized it but it didn’t hit me until months later. The first time she didn’t call me on my birthday (in September) was when I knew things were bad. I, of course, didn’t blame her. It was just the first of many wake up calls that things with her were changing.

When she told me numerous times that she was thinking about moving in with my parents because living alone was getting too hard for her, I knew things were very bad. This was a woman who would do everything possible to get the flame out herself before calling the fire department if she was on fire so for her to tell me she was seriously thinking about asking for help meant a great deal.

Jeremy (my brother), Gran, and I

Jeremy (my brother), Gran, and I

After my grandfather passed away (less than two years ago,) my grandmother and I started getting closer. She would go to the library and ask a volunteer (she was afraid if she hit the wrong button on the computer it would blow up) to print out my blogs so she could read them. It opened the door for us to really talk about serious things and not just idle chit chat which is what I became so accustomed to with both of my grandparents. Since I never felt anyone had the capacity to understand what I was dealing with other than my parents who were living it with me, I didn’t want to just complain to them since there wasn’t anything they could do to help resolve the situation. So, why upset them?

However, once Gran (my grandmother) and I started really talking, I began to see how much we had in common. She had been sick in her life also which greatly impacted her personality. She is very routine oriented, is afraid of change, finds comfort in the known, and we even eat similar foods which I had no idea about. (I do realize I am speaking about her as though she is still alive but it just happened on Friday… )

Anyway, I have a lot of feelings about this so I thought I would break it up into a couple posts so they are easier to read.

I want to hear how you guys are doing too! I do have a lot of new, exciting things going on which I will tell you about soon. <3

  • http://tussilasbookproject.wordpress.com tussilaspring

    I’m so sorry for your loss, love from Tussila!

    • http://risaroo86.wordpress.com Marisa Lauren

      Thank you so much! :)

  • Sherri

    Gran loved you so much! Keeping helping others, just like she always did…we are all so proud…<3!

  • https://www.facebook.com/sheila.bergquist.3 Sheila Bergquist

    I’m so sorry about the loss of your grandmother. Love and hugs to you.

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