I don’t want to get too sappy and make some of you stop reading but today is my boyfriend’s birthday and I wanted to use today to talk about relationships a little bit with Crohn’s Disease or Ulcerative Colitis.
While I didn’t think I would never find my other half (I was only 26 when we met, after all), I thought all that I went through with IBD would have a huge impact on my life in this regard.
I come with baggage. No pun intended. I have a lot of triggers and things I can’t do (physically and mentally) because of inflammatory bowel disease. Not to mention my sleeping issues and chronic daily migraines. I would always wonder:
“How in the word would I ever be able to find someone who I could just be myself with and who would understand what I was going through just like my parents would?”
“How am I going to find someone who doesn’t just accept what I have been through but truly gets it enough not to put pressure on me or make me feel badly about certain things?”
“How can I be in a relationship and still be me? Inflammatory bowel disease has prevented me from figuring out my place in the world. How can I be with someone who understands that I am a little behind not because I am lazy, but because even though I tried everything I could, this is where I am today.”
“Some days, I just need to lay in bed or on the couch in my pajamas. How can I live with someone and do that without them judging me?”
“Will I be able to find someone who will hold me when I need to cry? And more importantly, who I trust enough to open myself up like that with?”
I could go on and on with the things that went on in my head.
Then I met Frank. Never new him before that day other than the fact that he ran the IBD Round Table Discussions. I didn’t even know he was coming to the event until my friend, Sara, told me.
But we clicked. It was instant. And we have talked every single day since we met on May 18, 2013. While there are complicated things in every relationship, Frank and I aren’t complicated. Everything is so unbelievably easy and enjoyable with him. I can be myself. He can be himself. We laugh, we/I cry, we do a lot together and have fun or we can do nothing and enjoy each others company. I feel comfortable eating around him and am finally not embarrassed when my ostomy makes so much noise around him.
He gets me and has from the very beginning. And I understand him and the things he deals with in his life. We can talk openly and honestly. We respect each other and help make each other better. We have from day 1.
I just want you guys to know that while it may sound like cliche BS, you do find the right one when you least expect it. And while you may feel like you are a mess and how/why would anyone want to deal with you? But, I can tell you right now. Everyone is dealing with something. Everyone. And there are good people in this world. There are good people who will stick by you and who love and care about you because of the person you are. You will find the right person.
Happy Birthday to my other half! <3