I have talked a good amount about psychiatric medications and my need for them over the years. I also went into a lot of detail about how many of these medications made me feel.
When I had my appointment with my internist a couple weeks ago, I spent a good amount of time talking to him about what was going on with me. Aside from my sleeping and migraines, my life has been pretty good (knock) and I did want him to know what was going on with me as a whole person. When I told him I had an appointment with a sleep doctor, he said that was fine but he really believed my sleeping issues and anxiety were at least somewhat emotional.
He told me this is the best he had ever seen me but I am not “out of the woods.” I still deal with pretty significant health issues on a daily basis, I have a lot of change going on in my personal life, and some other “normal” things going on in my mind/body. After telling me he didn’t want to play therapist, he did ask me if I had ever tried Cymbalta. It is an anti depressant that works well for anxiety supposedly. I gave him a flat out NO when he asked me but later on I looked up the medication more in depth online.
When I started scouring the internet, the side effects that most patients wrote about were difficulty sleeping followed by feeling jittery/anxious.
Obviously that doesn’t happen to everyone otherwise no one would be on it but how can I put something like that in my body after reading what so many people have said about those particular side effects? After all the trial and error I did over the years, how can I even begin to trust a medication like that?
I know many would say that I can’t give up because there is something out there that will help my anxiety and sleeping issues. I just haven’t found it yet but I never will feel better unless I continue to make every appointment I have to and do my best to trust the doctor caring for me.
I have felt positive about things since my appointment at the sleep clinic but even he said he felt I could benefit from something like Zoloft because it helps Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and anxiety better than other medications in that class.
I guess I just have to continue to see how it goes and take things one day at a time. There may be a time when I attempt one of these medications I detest so greatly now. And maybe there won’t be. I don’t know but I am determined to do everything I can to make smart, educated decisions about my physical AND emotional health.