I think everyone of us has parts of our lives that we don’t feel comfortable sharing with the outside world. This could just be temporary or something that may never change. Either way, I’ve noticed some of the things that come easily for me to talk about are really painful, if not impossible, for some of my friends to open up about on their blogs and vice versa. But having someone say these words mean everything. It turns your day around, your week even and most definitely changes your perspective.
It lets you know that someone is on your side and really understands where you are coming from because it is very easy to lose sight of that when you are feeling overwhelmed. I have noticed that the thing that has been plaguing me is something that is talked about constantly in the IBD chats I moderate with my friend Sara a couple times a week, on facebook support sites, on my friends blogs, and it even comes out of my closest friends mouths constantly. It helps to know that I am not alone. It is comforting for me to listen and to read through threads of posts, knowing that I am not the only one struggling with the thoughts I have even though I can’t bring myself to comment or acknowledge that I feel the same way.
I am sure I talk about things that are extremely difficult for other people to share on their blogs too for one reason or another. Maybe they feel like the people in their life will judge them. Or maybe it is just too hard for them to admit it to themselves so it is just easier to read it than attach their name to the words. And that is okay. We are all here to help each other out. We can share as little or as much about ourselves, our lives, our illness, our struggles, our successes, and our passions as we want. The more we talk, the more it helps other people and when we cannot talk about a specific topic, I know for a fact there are at least ten more people right around the corner who are more than happy to take that burden right off of you.
Before I started blogging, I was a pretty closed off person and then starting this blogged really changed all of that. It provided a catharsis for me that I so desperately needed. But as I am growing into more of a “complete” person, I want this blog to grow along with me. There are parts of me and my life that I still don’t feel comfortable sharing with the mass public. That may change with time and it may not. I am not sure and for the first time I am okay with not knowing. I am learning and growing right along with this blog, and seeing those words from my mom this morning made me realize that I do have people in my life who really “get it” (without having to spill my guts all over the internet) and that I do have the luxury of picking and choosing who I share certain information with.
I have opened up more of myself with people outside of my family because of the amazing friends that this blog opened the door for me to meet and that has changed me in ways I cannot even begin to express in words right now. I am grateful to have so many wonderful people in my life; friends, family, and fellow advocates whose work I turn to when I can’t find the words myself. Thank you.