We all have things we are sensitive about. If we have a giant pimple on our face, we feel as though the entire world is starring solely on that zit. If we mistakenly walked out the door with a stain on our shirt, clearly everyone has nothing better to do but focus on that. It is completely normal for each and every one of us to be over sensitized to the thing or multiple things that we feel the most self-conscious about.
When I had my first ileostomy at the age of 16, I felt like a walking bag. It seemed like it was obvious to everyone that there was something foreign on my stomach. Almost as if everyone else in the world was fortunate enough to have X-ray vision and see through my shirt in order to peek at the one thing I tried so desperately to hide every single day. Okay not really but I think you know what I mean.
There have been a few situations recently in my life that made me think about how we are all over sensitized to something. It doesn’t matter what it is really. My mom had poison ivy last week and made numerous comments to me about how she felt like when she would work out that everyone was starring, thinking that the marks on her legs were disgusting. Rationally, she knew that no one would even think to look at her legs, had better things to worry about, and really could care less. But when you are self-conscious about something with your body or in your life, your psyche is understandably preoccupied with thoughts about it.
I think what most of us fail to realize is that the majority of the time, other people will not notice what we put so much pressure on ourselves about. If you gained five pounds and are kicking yourself about it, the odds are no one is looking at you so closely so take it easy. If you have a scar that is causing you angst, in all likelihood, people will glance and not give it a second thought even though it is all you can think about.
This is something that I am REALLY trying to engrain in my mind right now. I am working towards letting some things go a bit and realizing that I am not the center of the universe and therefore, all eyes are certainly not on me. Or anyone, for that matter….
Don’t be so hard on yourself J