Laying My Cards on The Table
It is no secret that IBD has caused me a lot of emotional issues over the years. Therefore, it probably won’t come as a huge surprise to know that I have seen a therapist on and off for a while. I was seeing a psychiatrist who also did talk therapy for about six years and after that relationship ran its course, I made a switch to a psychologist and a psychiatrist to handle medication. I was very reluctant to do this because I liked the idea of having one person who knew me inside and out managing any medication that I might need. However, after meeting with this therapist and psychiatrist separately and feeling a great connection to both, I knew that I needed to make the change.
And I am extremely happy I did.
I have been feeling lately as though the twenty minutes I see my psychiatrist every month doesn’t really allow for him to treat me properly. It isn’t his fault and I like him very much. It is the nature of psychiatry and it has led me to question whether it was right for me to have this type of doctor handling my medication. Following a phone conversation I had with him, of which he did give me all the time in the world, I still hung up feeling very upset. I called him because I truly felt like I was going out of my mind from lack of sleep and just felt incapable of shutting my brain off. I knew there was no magic answer but when I hung up the phone, I was left feeling like there was no way this doctor (regardless of how amazing he was) could adequately treat me given the limited time we were able to spend together. There was just too much going on in my life, with my body, and in my mind for him to spend 20 minutes once a month with me and be able to really understand and for us to have a prosperous relationship.
So, on Tuesday I did something that a couple of months ago would have seemed like an impossible task – I told him the truth about how I was feeling in depth. And to my shock, he told me that I did the absolute right thing by NOT taking the medication he called in for me after we spoke on the phone, for if he knew the other things that were going on that would never have been his suggestion. He understood my frustrations were not with him but about the situation. I also proceeded to tell him that I made an appointment with my internist because I felt like if he was comfortable prescribing me the medications he was giving me that it may be better for me to be seen by my internist instead.
I couldn’t believe how I was just laying it all out there for him… bluntly and honestly.
At the end of the day, I had to do what was best for me and although I did not terminate my relationship with my psychiatrist at that time, we are now on the same page and I just generally feel better that things are out on the table.