My Love/Hate Relationship with Mt. Sinai Hosp

I have spent 350 nights at Mt. Sinai Hospital and in the beginning, that hospital was a safe place for me. Before my parents and I realized the severity of my situation, going to a hospital close by was easier but once it became clear that I did have a complicated disease and I was transferred to Mt. Sinai, I began to only be able to trust the doctors and nurses who worked there. I am a smart girl and did learn that the local hospitals were not equipped to handle situations that were as complex as mine, thus making it so Mt. Sinai Hospital was really the only place I was able to go and receive actual care.

But as the years went on, Mt. Sinai became something else. On one hand, it was the place that had the only people that I trusted to lay a hand on me, but on the other hand, inside those doors were the people, colors, smells and noises that sent my heart into my stomach.

How could this be the only place where I would willingly allow them to slice me open and trust them to take care of me afterwards but also have it be the establishment that I refer to as the torture chamber? I understand the psychological complexities of this… I do. It just has always baffled me how I can have such a strange relationship with this hospital. The sound of it makes me cringe, yet I would truly never voluntarily admit myself anyplace else.

  • Jodi

    makes complete sense to me! it is understandable how you could feel that way about a place with so many bad memories….

  • TG

    Diagnosed with Colitis/Crohns june 2010, 2011 full remission no drugs, 2012 emergent flare resulting in total colectomy. “You will be cured with UC by removing colon”. 2 weeks after surgery… oopps you have anti bodies of crohns. 6 months later. No reversal surgery yet offered due to health. J pouch odds not good due to crohns. She is now 12 years old.
    Currently healthy, no known problems due to removing majority of Gluten, Dairy and Egg. This removed bleeding and inflammation within 4 days.
    I am taking her from Childrens Seattle to Sinai for 2nd opinion and then Cleveland clinic in hopes of reversal. Thank you for sharing… Your pictures remind me of my daughters 2 months stay! I hope you are feeling healthy now!

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