Yesterday I wrote a post about how difficult it had been for me to admit that I was in fact, an ostomate. This led me to think about how this concept of not being able to admit or confront something can lead to issues far worse than the original thing you are dealing with. For those of you who are a little more familiar with my story, you have probably heard me say that after reading a post from the Intense Intestines Foundation and seeing the words “Never Stay Quiet” written at the bottom, it was like a light bulb went off in my head.
I had kept so much in for such a long time and I had so many feelings and emotions that I just had no place for them anymore. I literally had no idea what to do with them. I felt combustible. I felt so overwhelmed. I had so many things running through my head and heart. It seemed like I was carrying the weight of the world on my shoulder. I had no idea even where to begin to start the healing process.
So I began by talking. I opened up. I admitted a lot of the things I was so afraid to say out loud. I began to share a lot of what I was feeling that I tried so hard to keep buried deep within my very core. I started there and look what happened…
Once I was able to admit certain things and confront some of the feelings I was trying so desperately not to deal with, I was able to start dealing with them. Are they gone? Most of them are not. But I am healing. I am working through the issues I have.
And that is because I started talking. I stopped keeping things inside because it IS bad for your health (hehe), and I began coming face to face with many of the things I never wanted to talk about or deal with. But, just because I didn’t want to deal with them doesn’t mean they were going away. All it meant was that each day they were destroying me even more. The secrets, the hiding, the amount of energy it takes to keep emotions buried…
It became insurmountable.
I understand needing to wait until you are really ready to let something out in the open. I really get that your psyche needs to be in the proper mindset before you get into some of the more heavy things that are going on in your life, but just remember that the sooner you are able to admit and confront something, the sooner you will be able to deal with it and hopefully begin the healing process.