My friend Amanda left for Chicago this morning and this whole week has been an emotional one for me for a variety of reasons. I believe that everyone fills a necessary void in someone’s life and for me, I think from the beginning Amanda has brought up the issue of vulnerability. It takes a lot for most people to show their most vulnerable side to others. And for many, they simply can’t allow themselves to be so raw and exposed.
I was never someone who had a tough exterior but I was definitely selective with who I shared my most intimate secrets with. And as I am sure most of you know by now, I never really opened up about what my body has gone through so in that way, I suppose I have allowed myself to be particularly vulnerable these past few months.
This issue of vulnerability has been one that has crossed my path before. I have found that the friendships and relationships where I felt the closest bond were the ones where we both have been able to share literally everything.
“She said if we’re gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don’t hide the broken parts that I need to see
She said like it or not it’s the way it’s gotta be
You’ve gotta love yourself if you can ever love me”- Whatever It Takes, LifeHouse
This is a perfect song with absolutely perfect lyrics that I cannot seem to get out of my head today.
I do certainly have friendships that don’t require either of us to share our intimate thoughts, fears, or secrets. I have even been in relationships like that. But, in my experience, the most meaningful friendships and relationships are those in which you can show your most vulnerable side to another person. The most meaningful and significant relationships in my mind are the ones where someone knows and understands your vulnerability, and not one where you need to hide these sometimes embarrassing or undesirable traits.
So, vulnerability… while incredibly difficult for most people,
if you can allow yourself to slowly become more open, more exposed, and more raw to the people in your life whom you trust,
I think you will end up forming a much closer bond with the people in your life.