My friend Amanda has been visiting from Chicago since last Friday which is why I haven’t written in a while. We have been having such an amazing time that she even extended her trip for another week!
It has been a long time since I have really enjoyed something and was able to just be myself around people other than my parents. It took less than five minutes for me to feel a thousand percent comfortable with not only Amanda but her friend, Ana, who I had never even met.
I spent the day in NYC on Saturday which I haven’t done in years since the city usually reminds me of Mt. Sinai Hospital.
I actually went shopping yesterday for the first time in so long. As I have mentioned in previous posts, my weight fluctuations have had an enormous impact on me. But yesterday was different. Yesterday I didn’t feel pressure. I was with one of my best friends who actually “tricked” me into trying on clothes. She knew I had an ileostomy and I saw just how much it hasn’t mattered to anyone – not to her, not to Ana, not to anyone.
I stayed over at Ana’s house which I didn’t anticipate and I saw I was able to do it.
These past few days have been really incredible for a variety of reasons. I have been able to fully be myself and have seen that being myself is OKAY. I have done a lot of things out of my comfort zone and I am proud of myself for being able to accomplish them. I am so thankful, yet so exhausted.
More soon : )