I have had a huge problem with one sided friendships and relationships in my life. Being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis at such a young age which caused my body to go through so much really affected my self esteem. This has been something that I have only been realizing pretty recently. It is also the main reason why I haven’t always demanded the respect I deserved from my friends and the guys I was in relationships with. I have been through so much in 2012 and I really had no time, energy or patience to deal with anyone who I felt didn’t care enough about me or didn’t do the right thing when it came to certain situations or circumstances I was in.
A few months into this year, I had started talking to a girl named Megan from thegreatbowelmovement.org and we became fast friends. It was through her that I got involved in an organization called Get Your Guts in Gear and it was also through Megan where I connected with a whole community of amazingly, inspiring people. Some of the people I met through this organization I had spent no more than a few hours with and they ended up becoming some of my best friends. It was a breath of fresh air. It was as if I finally saw what I deserved from people. I feel like I have spent the majority of my life being there for everyone else but when I needed someone, when I was in a bad place, there was simply no excuse for the people who I would hang out with every single weekend and many weeknights not to reach out to me. There was just no excuse for it and I stopped tolerating it. I deleted most of the contacts out of my phone that I had no use for anymore and even went so far as to unfriend about 500 people from facebook. A lot were people that I simply hadn’t talked to in years but many were people who I intentionally was cutting out of my life. I know that probably sounds harsh but if you knew the number of chances I have given my so called friends to step up and be basic human beings, it is not harsh by any means. I have also only had two people friend me back…coincidentally, those two people were ones I just unfriended because we hadn’t talked in a while so there was no ill feelings towards them at all.
I know this blog is public so someone who I may be referring to could come across it but clearly, I don’t care very much. This isn’t a rant at all. This is me finally standing up and saying that I DO know what I deserve from the people in my life. I deserve to be surrounded by people that will lift me up when I am feeling down. I deserve to have people in my life who love me for the person I am and not who I pretend to be. I deserve to have friends who will be there for me no matter what. I deserve to have a life that is filled with people who make me feel better about myself, my situation, and my life. I deserve to be around others who bring out the best in me and make me feel good about myself. But mostly, I deserve to have people in my life who show me the same love, caring, support and understanding that I show them.
Life is too short to be around people who piss you off, bring out the worst in you, aren’t there for you, bring you down, or are only there when you are doing well. Surround yourself with people who will be there for you no matter what.
You find out a lot about people when times are tough.
In sickness and in health, in good times and in bad… find people that will ALWAYS be there for you!