Day 29: “If I could accomplish one thing in 2013…”

The prompt for day 29 of National Health Blog Post Month is to talk about one thing that we hope to accomplish in 2013. There are so many things flooding my brain right now but I would say if I had to pick one thing and one thing only I hope to be enrolled in a graduate school program by the end of next year. I have been going back and forth in my mind about whether or not to pursue a career in social work and patient advocacy or do something a bit more removed from patients and get my master’s degree in public health. I am very torn because I feel like I can really help people one on one, and I know I understand more than most right now about the human psyche (having only an undergraduate degree)…but on the other hand, I tend to be too empathetic. I don’t know if I would be able to separate my work and the lives of my patients from my own. I am not sure if I can handle other people’s pain nonstop day after day. I want to be able to so badly. I want to be able to help people in a one on one setting or directly in a hospital if I end up going more the patient advocacy route. I am just not sure if I should go in that direction or pursue something in public health where I am still helping people but from afar in a way.

I really wish I could enroll in a graduate program and then just show up for the first day of classes. The whole application process and the GRE’s are what have me thrown right now. I have absolutely no interest in going back to Manhattanville College and getting my transcripts and letters of recommendation. I also don’t really have the patience to focus on studying for the GRE’s right now. I also feel like I haven’t had enough sustained health for me to be confident enough to put myself in a situation where I might be disappointed. I cannot bear the thought of preparing and taking the GRE’s, and doing what I need to in terms of the application process and then having something set me back. I just know I will be too devastated which is why I am not actively pursuing this right now.

By the end of 2013, I really hope that I continue to progress like I have been doing in terms of my emotional recovery. And if I was at all religious, I would say that I am praying my physical health is under control so that I can go about my life and turn all of my negative experiences into helping others who are suffering. I have been on the sidelines for so long and it is so difficult for me to look towards the future but I am trying. I have been thinking about it more lately which I know is a step in the right direction, even if nothing is actively happening at this point in my life. I hope to look back a year from now and have achieved all that I am talking about in this post.

  • Meg

    I once got a fortune cookie that said, “Do not give up, the beginning is always the hardest”. It impacted me so much that I saved it and taped it to my computer so I could look at it all the time. It’s so true, taking that first step is always the hardest, whether your obstacle is health conditions, or simply procrastination. For me, starting the grad school process was the hardest, just taking that first step, but once I got rolling, things went alright. My profs were understanding about UC, and I made it through, couldn’t be prouder. You can too! Just take the first step, and after that, take it one day at a time. Love you!

    • http://risaroo86.wordpress.com rissy26

      The beginning IS always the hardest Meg. Thanks girlie : )

  • http://thedisneypoint.blogspot.com Rosanne

    Hi there! YOU CAN DO IT. I know things are difficult when you get a setback, but take your time. I suggest going to information sessions and learning as much as you can about the different programs. Meet with students or formers students and find the program that fits you best.

    The GRE, well it’s a pain in the ass. BUT go to barnes and noble, get your self a book and do it at your own pace. You are very intelligent and you don’t need someone to teach you that stuff, you can do it on your own. Treat it like a job and dedicate regular hours each day to studying. That’s what I did and I found a program that I loved.

    In my first semester I had the worst flare up of my life and had to be hospitalized for three weeks. I put four full weeks into the program and was working by butt off. I eventually had to withdraw. It was awful “losing” that time. However, my professors could not have been more supportive. I finished a year after everyone else that I started with, but I finished and that’s all that matters. It’s not a race. You can do it.

    • http://risaroo86.wordpress.com rissy26

      Thanks love. Seems so far away now. I feel like ive spent soo long in school (5 yrs in hs and 5 1/2 in college)… I do know it’ll be worth it. Thank you for the support Rosanne: ) xoxo

  • http://aguywithcrohns.wordpress.com A Guy With Crohn’s

    You can do it. Honestly, I wish I would have continued on for my Masters. To late now as I don’t have the money. Your young. Yes, it will be hard but think of the rewards. You are a very bright and smart person. You will get there. It might take a while because you might get sick…but you will get there.

    • http://risaroo86.wordpress.com rissy26

      Thanks Jeffrey

  • Jodi

    the fact that you are thinking about it is a MAJOR first step.Keep working on what you are doing now.With that in the back of your mind, when you are really ready, you will do it. You’ve gotten this far and have only jumped leaps and bounds in the last month or so.. I think grad school is 2013 is a good possibility (and an AWESOME choice for you. I think your ideas about what to do are a perfect match). You know yourself Marisa, you will do it when the time is really right for you.
    Keep up the awesome work you are doing…
    love you.

    • http://risaroo86.wordpress.com rissy26

      Thank you Jodi. Keep thinking about what you said about how scared you were to go back to school…but it ended up being the best thing you could have ever done for yourself.

  • val0525

    Marisa,

    You are looking towards the future whether you realize it or not. You are making great progress on this journey you are on.

    I think you would do an awesome job in any health care field, because of your experiences with your own health. You have a perspective that others who have not been sick would not have.

    Would it help to look at this in smaller steps and them maybe it would not seem so overwhelming? Just a thought.

    You will get to where you want to be. There is no timetable in place. You need to move at your own pace.

    Thank you again for another grat post.

    xoxo

    • http://risaroo86.wordpress.com rissy26

      Thank you so much for your kind words Val. It really helps to hear them from you. love you

  • http://findmein2013.wordpress.com Amanda Brooke

    Whatever you do, you will change the world. You’ve already changed so many people. Just know we’re all here for the ride, and we love you dearly.

    • http://risaroo86.wordpress.com rissy26

      couldnt keep going without you A

      • http://findmein2013.wordpress.com Amanda Brooke

        literally just filled with love for you and this weekend.