To Challenge Someone or Not to Challenge Someone, that is the question

I have this desperate need to want to bring up the topic about how you know when to bite your tongue and when to voice your opinion. This topic and question has come up today when I got an email from a friend of mine asking me to check something out that she saw posted. It was another blog post about invisible illness week. And to be honest, it was one that was shocking and truly offensive to anyone who actually needs support and understanding. It was one that showed just how out of touch this person was with the illness he/she claims to be an advocate for. It was one so judgmental that I don’t know how anyone who is the slightest bit sick ever reads and identifies with this person.

My question that I want to throw out there is how do you know when you should challenge someone? There is challenging someone/voicing your opinion, or there is biting your tongue. How do you know what situation calls for what? Do I have a right to challenge this individual about the post he/she has just written? Or is it none of my business what this person chooses to write and the opinions he/she shares?
I am personally someone who likes a good debate but that isn’t what this is about. I am not sitting here wondering if I should debate this person for my own personal amusement. I am wondering if I should step in and voice my opinions and concerns for what this so called advocate is sharing with people and the impression this person is leaving with not only patients, but people who are trying to understand for a loved one. It is posts like this one that made me feel like I was so inadequate before I really met other people living with IBD. It is posts like this one that I have read that have made me feel like I was an extremely weak person for having the feelings and reactions I was having to such a traumatic situation.

So, I ask once again… do I bite my tongue or do I voice my opinions?

  • fullfrontalostomy

    I’ve never been one to bite my tongue. It’s one fast way to figure out who my true friends are. :)

    • rissy26

      I usually am not either, especially about something that I feel so passionate about. :)

  • Alan Berkowitz

    When your passion dictates an action, one should write out the answer immediately ON PAPER IN DRAFT FORM. DO NOT SEND IT until you have read your response over and over… Soften it without losing the point… Turn it from a negative to a positive so you do not shame the recipient , but educate without being superior. After several re-writes, and before committing it to the computer, say to yourself this: Would sending this really help that particular person. WAIT A FULL DAY. Read it again. Then, send it out and be prepared for any consequence. One thing is sure… You’ve had to deal with greater consequences than this in your lifetime. I believe you will do what’s best for you and your fellow sufferers. Those of us who love you will never question your decisions.

  • Jodi

    you should get it out. Let that person know exactly what you just told us. How it made you feel. You are not judging that person, just letting them know your response to their words/actions. Maybe it they knew, they might respond differently, especially if they are supposed to be an advocate in this situation.