I had to “break up” with my psychiatrist after over six years and it made me feel really conflicted and unsettled. His response was warm and understanding which made me relieved since I have shared so much with him and didn’t want him to take it personally. I just really need a change, a new perspective…and I have needed that for a long time but have been afraid to actually pull the trigger and make the move. I am a pretty organized person and I kept almost scaring myself into making the call with the bold, all capitalized wording, and marking it urgent in my scheduler and just a bunch of other things to grab my attention.
I finally made the call yesterday afternoon and I am so glad that that is over with. I know it was the right thing to do but I after I hung up the phone my mind was just filled with so many doubts. It became so overwhelming and I kept going back to how easy and comforting it was with him. I, like many other people, find comfort in the familiar and the known. I know I have spoken about the unknown a lot here on this blog and that is really because it affects so many areas of my life.
I started really thinking about how difficult change is for a lot of people and how it is easier to stay in a place or situation that is familiar territory. Branching out of a person’s comfort zone is a very difficult thing to do but it is usually for the best. In my experience, by the time I actually make the decision to change up something in my life; I have usually gone back and forth in my head for a long time before making the move. I am doing all that I can to really learn and understand myself and since I am someone who is pretty hesitant to make an important decision without really thinking about it thoroughly, I am trying to be more at peace with my decisions after they become more final.
One day at a time
…and yesterday, I tackled something huge for me that I know will help me in the long run.
“Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.”- Brian Tracy